Tag Archives: CBS Sports

Dennis Dodd Carelessly Linked Chip Kelly to the Florida Job and Eagles Twitter Trolled the Shit Out of It

Chip Kelly has never been employed within the state of Florida. The Eagles coach is not from Florida and has no connection to the University of Florida aside from maybe being friends with former Florida head coach Urban Meyer.

All of that, not to mention the fact that Kelly is currently 15-8 a year and a half into being an NFL coach, didn’t stop CBS Sports columnist Dennis Dodd from casually tweeting this while the Florida Gators were enduring an embarrassing home loss with fans in the swamp chanting “Fire Muschamp.

Dodd actually wrote a similarly ridiculous column 10 months ago, only now you can replace Texas with Florida.

Kelly’s Eagles won the NFC East one day later, and one week later, Texas hired Charlie Strong.

Back in January 2013, Kelly left a national championship contender in Oregon to prove to the world that his innovative offense could work in the NFL, and so far, it absolutely has.

Jim Harbaugh may end up being the exception with Michigan, his alma mater, likely having an opening, along with other extenuating circumstances in San Francisco, but successful NFL coaches don’t return to college. The ones like Nick Saban and Steve Spurrier who took their shot and failed do. The ones who win don’t, and Kelly has taken the league by storm.

Troll away here, Eagles Twitter:

Good job, dawgies. I think our work here is done.

Enjoy the bye week today knowing that while Dodd’s tweet was complete bogus, the Eagles have one of the most innovative coaches in the game and several college and NFL programs would love for him to be theirs.

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Apply to Be My Fantasy Football Draft Replacement; Potentially Win Money

Allow me a second before I get to the main point here. Recently, I’m not used to writing posts that aren’t about Alex Henery.

Okay, now I’m ready.

Like most football crazed folks on this planet, I love Fantasy Football. This will be my twelfth year playing and between championships, heartbreak, epic victories in the final seconds of Monday Night Football, and running my own league for 10 years now, I like to think I have done it all.

Even some of my haters who I have played with will tell you it’s not easy competing against Team Da Crew week in and week out.

Unfortunately though, as you get older, life transitions and the real world sometimes get in the way. My biggest money draft is this Thursday night at 7 p.m., and I need to work late before heading to my friend’s wedding in Pittsburgh Labor Day Weekend.

This is where you come in as I am soliciting applications for someone to draft my team for me Thursday night.

I will be managing the team myself from then on, but should I finish in first or second place, I would be willing to work out something where you would get a cut of the prize winnings for a job well done. It is a 12-team league, and everyone puts in $100, so between weekly prizes, bonuses for making the playoffs, and obviously getting to the championship game, there is money to be had and zero risk for you.

If this sounds enticing, continue reading to find out how to apply.

Requirements 

  • Passion for Fantasy Football
  • Complete availability on Thursday, August 28, between 6:50 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. (Eastern time)
  • A strong Internet connection — I need you to be all in here. Trying to draft on some app while sitting in some parking lot with shaky WiFi won’t cut it.
  • 30-minute availability on Monday or Wednesday night to go over any questions and instructions
  • Not a jackass — This is a well-run league with good people. I like to think that I am a nice person, and while trash talking is always fun, if I’m sending you into a draft, I expect you to be nice too.

If you believe that you meet all five of these aforementioned requirements, send an email to drewbbalis [at] gmail [dot] [com] with the following information. Again, that is drewbbalis@gmail.com

  • Your Fantasy Football knowledge and past credentials — Basically, what sets you apart, and why should I choose you over someone else?
  • Explain to me how you would approach the first two picks in the draft if you have the ninth pick out of 12 teams (snake draft) and passing touchdowns, rushing touchdowns, and receiving touchdowns are all worth six points.
  • Rank these five fantasy quarterbacks — Robert Griffin, Andrew Luck, Nick Foles, Russell Wilson, Colin Kaepernick (If you regularly read this blog or follow me on Twitter, you know that I really like Nick Foles. Don’t be afraid to challenge me as long as you can back it up with reasons and not clich√©s. There is really no correct answer; I just want to get an idea of your thought process).
  • A phone number where I can contact you

A note on the first bullet point: While a past resume will certainly be attractive, I will consider all experience levels. Chip Kelly took the league by storm and won the NFC East last season with no prior NFL coaching experience. If you are newer to the game but are innovative and have ideas, I promise I’m interested.

You will have a few specific orders from me for the first couple rounds, but after that, it’s all you. The draft is run through CBS Sports’ Fantasy site. I will provide you with all of the login information. It is extremely user-friendly even if you have never done a league on there before. I would simply ask that you are logged in early and play around on it a bit.

Applications will remain open until Sunday, August 24th at 9 p.m. eastern time, and the selected person will be notified by noon on Monday.

I appreciate anyone who takes the time to apply, so I will be sure to reply with a thank you even if I end up choosing someone else.

Have at it, folks.

Jon Heyman ‘Reported’ Something Ridiculously Obvious About the Phillies and People Trolled the Shit Out of It

CBS Sports baseball writer Jon Heyman told Twitter something that it has known for two years this morning when he ‘reported’ that the Phillies would prefer to deal Cliff Lee rather than Cole Hamels as teams come calling with the trade deadline approaching.

Heyman’s full report is here¬†although he could have saved himself 254 words and simply typed “DUH’¬†after this headline.

Heyman Headline

Let’s compare Hamels and Lee for a second:

30 years old vs. A month away from 36 years old

Under contract through 2018 vs. Under contract through 2015

Healthy with a 2.93 ERA vs. Missed two months with an elbow strain

Spent entire career in Philly vs. Five organizations over a decade

Which one would you prefer to hold onto going forward? Hate on Ruben Amaro all you want, but even he’s not that incompetent. Outside of Curt Schilling, Cliff Lee’s my favorite pitcher of all-time. I’m gonna cry whenever the Phillies eventually move him, but separating emotions from baseball sense, this decision is a no-brainer.

This post isn’t meant to kill Heyman though. He normally does good work, unlike someone else who used to write for CBS Sports, and has a national audience to inform that may not find this news quite as obvious. Still though, the Philadelphia sports media decided to have some fun with it.

Below are the best responses:

Murphy 1

Murph going hard.

Murphy 2

Zoo!

Zoo 1

Seidman 1

Mosh who doesn’t even cover the Phillies with a sick response.

Mosher 1

Finger 1

Gelb 1

Jim Salisbury — the most connected reporter on the Phillies beat — jumped in a little late but really came out swinging.

Salisbury 2

Salisbury 1

Yours truly even tried to join the party.

Heyman 2

Have a good weekend, folks.

Mike Freeman’s 2013 Eagles Training Camp Preview is HiLOLarious to Go Back and Read

If you have ever read this blog previously or actually met me in-person before, then you know that I have a really good memory.

Sometimes it’s a blessing; other times it’s a curse, but I don’t forget things, so naturally, I remembered last Sunday that it was the one-year anniversary of me being blocked on Twitter by then CBS Sports and now Bleacher Report NFL¬†columnist hack Mike Freeman.

Freeman 4

That will all be explained later for anyone who doesn’t know the story, but this memory recall led to me re-reading Freeman’s Eagles training camp preview from last summer, and holy shit, is it embarrassingly bad.

Here’s the full thing, but we’re going to go through it a few paragraphs at a time to examine just how awful this truly was.

If the Eagles can find a decent quarterback (and that’s a big if), and if they can keep that quarterback healthy (if it’s Mike Vick, that’s a huge if), and if Chip Kelly’s offense can work (gigantic if) then the player who could have a monster year is wide receiver DeSean Jackson.

There continues to be talk that Jackson has a chip on his shoulder and this offseason he’s worked as hard as ever. Jackson is still an intimidating weapon and if there’s a miracle, and Kelly can reproduce a reasonable facsimile of his college offense, Jackson could be the one to benefit the most.

Man, you sure love the word “if,” Mike. Overall though, this started off not terrible. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that DeSean Jackson had a chip on his shoulder after missing five games due to injury in 2012, but he was correct about that. It gets better, I promise.

Key changes

For the first time since 1999, Andy Reid will not be coaching the Eagles. Think about that for a moment. This is a landmark year for the organization and it is also potentially a chaotic one. Chip Kelly is the coach now and he promises a more up-tempo style of offense. But many a college coach has promised to transform the NFL with their college-y ideas and many have failed. See: Spurrier, Steve, among others.

Ah, a Steve Spurrier reference. That’s about as lazy as you can get right there, Mike. At least drop Dennis Erickson’s name or something, makes you sound slightly less unoriginal.

Kelly does inherit a team with talent. The cupboard, despite Philadelphia’s dismal record last year, is not bare. LeSean McCoy¬†missed four games last year but still had 1,213 total yards and five scores. What Kelly will have to do is patch an offensive line that was constantly injured last season. The quarterback situation is a mess. It’s basically an open competition that Mike Vick will likely win but even if he does, Vick doesn’t stay healthy. Fourth-round pick Matt Barkley¬†will see playing time, maybe a significant amount.

The Matt Barkley line is the easy target, but more of that will be coming later, so let’s focus on the offensive line sentence. Can you name the starting offensive line, Mike? If you could, you would know that it was set going into camp last summer. Were there injuries in 2012? Yes, but “patch” is a pretty poor verb to describe a unit comprised of four previous starters (one of which was a five-time Pro Bowler) plus the fourth overall selection in the draft.

The most interesting thing to watch will be Kelly. He wants to run 80 to 100 plays a game, which will never consistently happen. For the past 30 years, the average number of offensive NFL plays has been in the 60s. The Patriots last season once ran 92. That was considered Haley’s comet territory. To run that many plays weekly is impossible and would lead to Kelly’s offense being physically battered. There wouldn’t be enough players to finish a season.

Alright, 80-100 plays might not be doable, but the Eagles ran 70+ plays four times and aside from Vick whose injury history predates even Kelly’s time at Oregon not once did an offensive starter miss a game due to injury.

Position battles

The quarterback spot. That’s the biggest. There are players on the Eagles who believe that Kelly will do everything in his power to name Barkley the starter.

LOLWUT. Your #sources were pulling a fast one on you here, buddy. Barkley took third-team reps just about all minicamp, and you would have known this had you done even a hint of research.

New schemes

For all of its alleged fast pace and openness, Kelly will utilize two (and sometimes three) tight ends to shore up a shaky offensive line. It’s yet another attempt by a team to duplicate the Rob Gronkowski/Aaron Hernandez tight end tandem that was the best in football until injuries and homicide charges destroyed it.

All indications are that the team will switch from a 4-3 to a 3-4. Philadelphia wants to do on defense what the Eagles will try on offense — keep the game up-tempo and the team in attack mode.

All indications = Chip Kelly prefers a 3-4 base defense, and defensive coordinator Billy Davis has ran it throughout his career. Also, two mentions of a shaky offensive line doesn’t make your false claim any more true.

Bubble watch

Tight end Clay Harbor spent time this offseason practicing at outside linebacker. Jason Avant, a wide receiver, practiced several times in the secondary. When the new coach puts a player at a different position, well, that does not bode well for the future of those players.

For the sake of fairness, I’ll acknowledge that neither player is still on the Eagles roster, but Jason Avant played 841 snaps at wide receiver and zero in the secondary during the 2013 season.

Unheard-of-guy to watch

Isaac Sopoaga was a crucial free-agent pickup because he’s a ferocious run stopper.

Isaac Sopoaga was such a ferocious run stopper that he and his 10 total tackles scared the Eagles away. They traded him eight games into the season, inserted rookie Bennie Logan as the starting defensive tackle and watched him record 21 total tackles and two sacks as the defense surrendered 21.4 points per game during a 7-1 stretch compared to 26.4 in the first half.

Biggest concerns

Where to begin? Can Vick stay healthy? Can the offensive line? Can DeSean Jackson?

Most of all, will Kelly’s schemes hold up?

 

No. Yes. Yes. Yes. Let’s move on to the best part now.

Something to prove

This is for certain: Around the league, few coaches think Kelly will succeed. Coaches are a highly cynical bunch. They think the daily rigors of the sport will beat Kelly’s schemes into oblivion and he’ll be chased back to college. It will be up to Kelly to prove them wrong.

So sneaky, Mike. Thought you could slip a clich√© ‘this ain’t #college’ reference in at the end hoping no one would see it.

Upon first reading this a year ago, I was left with some questions. Which coaches? If you really did talk to coaches, wouldn’t one have fed you some anonymous quote to use? I didn’t expect to find that out, but curious, I decided to ask Freeman something else.

Freeman 5

He “answered.”

Freeman 6

Well Mike, that really doesn’t tell me anything. I tried again.

Freeman 7

I responded once more.

Freeman 8

Unfortunately, he never got it.

Freeman 9

Likely receiving some way less cordial reactions than the one I thought I provided, he followed up with this:

Freeman 1

Freeman 2

Please tell me which of these categories I fit into, Mike. Do I like the Eagles? Yeah. Was I high on Chip Kelly as a hire? Yeah, but if you come with some loosely sourced claim like that, you better be able to back it up and not act like an arrogant prick, especially when Bill Belichick, the best and one of the most influential NFL coaches of this generation, had picked Kelly’s brain and was on record that he would succeed.

A classic win-win situation for the columnist. If Kelly goes 5-11 last season and his offense averages 17 points a game, Freeman can high-five himself and say ‘I told you so.’ If Kelly succeeds like he did, there’s the ‘I never believed that. One or two coaches just mentioned it to me in passing’ way out.

More troubling, this is a perfect example of the ‘you need me more than I need you’ attitude that plagues part of sports media into falsely thinking readers and commenters aren’t important. He can question all he wants, but don’t you dare try to question him.

People who write about sports make mistakes all the time, myself included. I said Domonic Brown would hit 30 home runs this season. He’s lucky if he reaches 15.

When I covered Penn State football for Onward State, I wrote a piece essentially saying that former defensive coordinator John Butler would be a head coach within five years. While I still wouldn’t be shocked if that happened, he wasn’t as successful as I expected in his first — and only — season running Penn State’s defense. There are a few people who dislike both me and Butler who likely love that I wrote that article and talked him up as much as I did.

It’s one of the beautiful things about sports that despite all of the information and data readily available, we can still get stuff so wrong.

The thing is though, Freeman didn’t simply get predictions wrong. Had he wrote something like ‘Trent Cole will record less than five sacks and struggle transitioning to linebacker in a 3-4 defense after playing defensive end in a 4-3 for eight seasons,’ I could let him off the hook, but these aren’t incorrect prognostications. It’s a bunch of half-assed, uninformed, logical fallacies that could be thrown together in 15 minutes and does nothing to inform readers.

The worst part is should Freeman ever come across this, he’ll treat it as ‘Punk TwentySomething Takes Shot at Established Writer,’ and the exact same type of lazy journalism will be produced again and again.

Deep breath. We’re done, right? Nope. But Drew, that was the end of the article. What else could there possibly be to say here?

I don’t know, maybe that the buffoon DIDN’T MENTION NICK FOLES ONCE?!?!?!

Matt Barkley, a fourth round rookie coming off a separated shoulder taking third-team reps a month earlier in minicamp was referenced twice while Freeman pretended that Foles didn’t exist.

As surprising as Foles’ season was, it didn’t come completely out of nowhere. Foles quarterbacked the team for seven games in 2012, and while he didn’t win many contests, he did throw for six touchdown passes to only five interceptions and completed 60.8 percent of his passes as a rookie.

Perhaps more relevant, Foles and Vick split first-team reps evenly all throughout minicamp. While Vick may have been the perceived favorite, Foles pushed hard enough that Vick requested to no avail that Kelly name a starter going into training camp.

Apparently, Freeman chose to ignore all that. I guess someone eventually clued him in on who Foles was though because we got this hot garbage after Foles tied an NFL record with seven touchdown passes against the Raiders.

Go screw, Mike. Go screw, and I’d leave these two clips off your resume.

Freeman Resume